Reflections after reading Being Mortal by Atul Gawande

I have never seen anybody die.  Even my two dogs happened to die when I was far away in different countries.  I have been to only one funeral of a meaningful person in my entire life, and very few others. 

It's difficult to tell how realistic my view of death is.  Yet, I don't seem to be afraid of it (how can you tell with certainty if you're not facing it, though), don't have qualms to be talking about it  and have expressed my verbal wishes to my husband and my children.  My older son really thinks it's important to know, and he has not been shy to ask and listened carefully.  My husband has expressly told me he was going to ignore anything I want if he outlives me- he thinks the last rites(?) should be meaningful to the survivors.   Frankly, I don't mind that much.   Again, as in so many cases in the book, there is no guarantee that despite all our preparations and wishes the survivors will not do what feels right to them at that moment anyway. And, really, I don't feel very strongly about it and think that we or they alone will be crossing that bridge when we get there.  The best laid out plans are subject to unexpected upsets, especially when huge decisions are to be made.  Lesser things have pushed people over the edge in those critical moments.  My great grandmother reproached herself after her beloved husband died, because he muttered something in his final moments to which she soothingly said, 'Good, good...'.  "What if he had said he was dying!?", my great grandmother was asking herself in dismay for years afterwards. 

I have not been so relaxed with my own parents (both of them still alive plus a step father).  I am the only child to all of them.  We have not discussed anything regarding their wishes yet.  They are all still in excellent health, but also because my mother is very scared by a possibility of her life ending one day.  She gets visibly and instantly depressed when the topic of ill health or death comes up.  She is 79.   At 80, my father has just moved in with a new girlfriend and still bikes 30 kilometers a day at speeds that I find hard to keep up with (and I am fit).  It seems insulting to talk to him about death and his dying wishes somehow:)  I know that all of them have wills, but I don't think they contain any special instructions.  I hope that if something is important to them in that matter, they are going to let me know.  Yes, I know I am a wimp here, but it seems the right way to go.